Be Like Jesus: Give Up the Right to be Offended

Fair Warning: This one may be challenging.

Hello Family,

It’s one of those things we experience so often that we hardly even notice it anymore. But it has the power to cloud our judgment, steal our peace, poison our relationships, and harden our hearts.

Taking offense or being offended can be defined as interpreting a situation, action, or statement as a personal attack or insult. It’s that moment when something strikes a nerve, wounds your pride, or contradicts your expectations and suddenly, you’re not just reacting to what happened, you’re taking it personally.

Now pause and think about how you respond when someone…

• Says something mean to you.

  
  

• Lies on you, or twists your words.

  
  

• Cuts you off in traffic.

  
  

• Messes up your food order.

It doesn’t take much, does it?

Even the smallest things can ignite irritation, spark offense, and pull us into an inner dialogue that justifies our anger or hurt. It’s in these moments, especially the seemingly trivial ones, that our character is being tested.

And the truth is, most of us have developed a deeply ingrained response pattern when we feel offended. It’s automatic. It’s emotional. It’s human. We tend to move through a process or protocol:

1. We Exalt Ourselves

The first reaction is often outrage or indignation.

"How dare they say that to me?" or "Who do they think they are?"

We place ourselves in a position of moral superiority, as though we are above reproach, beyond fault, and deserving of only perfect treatment. In that moment, we become the judge, jury and executioner, while also making ourselves the victim.

2. We Give Ourselves Grace

Even if we’ve contributed to the conflict or misunderstanding, we’re quick to defend our actions.

"Yes, I snapped, but they pushed me."

"I may have been rude, but they had no right to talk to me like that."

We justify our response, excuse, or attitude, and rationalize our behavior, granting ourselves the grace we so often withhold from others.

3. We Cast Judgment

When we believe we are in the right, we don’t hesitate to judge the other person, harshly. We may talk about them, cut them off, punish them with silence, or let bitterness take root in our hearts. And in the age of social media, judgment often goes public. We mistake selfish ambition for justice.

But here’s the question we must all wrestle with:

Is this how we are called to live as followers of Jesus?

Is offense our right, or have we been called something higher?

If you're ready to go deeper, this is where we begin examining what Scripture says about wisdom, humility, and the kind of strength it takes to live unoffended, not because we’re blind to wrong, but because we’re anchored in love.

James 3:13-16 (NIV)

“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”

James continues by warning us that bitter envy and selfish ambition aren’t just unhealthy, they’re demonic. This kind of “wisdom” doesn’t come from heaven. It breeds disorder and every kind of evil practice.

Godly wisdom is:

• Pure

  
  

• Peace-loving

  
  

• Considerate

  
  

• Submissive

  
  

• Full of mercy

  
  

• Impartial and sincere

As believers we are meant to be ambassadors of the Kingdom of Heaven. We are foreigners here. We should look, act, and even sound different from non-believers. 

We are also disciples of Jesus. We can not rage, curse, scream, or behave badly because we think we have a right to. As disciples of Jesus we give up our right to be offended when we accept the gift of salvation through Jesus. 

Jesus' mindset toward offense;

Philippians 2:5-8

"In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself

by becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross!"

Jesus, being fully God, did not demand His rights. He didn’t cling to power, didn’t demand respect, didn’t retaliate when mocked, beaten, or betrayed. Instead, He made Himself nothing. He humbled Himself to the point of death.

And we… get offended over a side of fries?

So What Do We Do?

I’ll be the first to say, I’ve got work to do in this area. Maybe you do too.

It starts with humility.

Humble yourself before God and learn what He says about you.

Because once you’re secure in His love, you won’t be so easily shaken by what others say or do.

Then, let His love change you.

The more you experience the love of Christ, the more love you’ll have to give others.

A heart full of Jesus’ love doesn’t keep score. It forgives seventy times seven.

It covers a multitude of sins.

Here’s the challenge:

Lay down your offense.

Pick up humility.

And choose love, even when it costs you your pride.

This isn’t easy. But it is Kingdom behavior.