The Power of Forgiveness: A Key to Peace, Healing, and Spiritual Growth

Hello Family,

Forgiveness is one of the most powerful, and often most difficult, acts we are called to walk in as believers. It goes against all our natural instincts. When someone wrongs us, our flesh cries out for justice, revenge, or at the very least, acknowledgment of the pain. But the Word of God is uncompromising on this point: if we do not forgive others, we will not be forgiven.

Matthew 6:14–15 (NIV)“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

This is not a suggestion; it’s a spiritual principle. Forgiveness is central to sanctification, peace, and relationship with God.

As a child, I was sexually assaulted by multiple male members of my family. When my mother found out about the abuse she made sure I was able to attend therapy. My therapist was a kind women who helped me to understand the the wrong what had happened to me. She helped me to process my feelings about it even encouraged me to confront my abusers in a safe and controlled environment. But we did not talk about forgiveness. I thought I was healed, in reality I was a ticking timebomb.

Forgiveness isn’t about letting someone off the hook. It’s about releasing yourself from the spiritual bondage that comes with holding onto pain and anger. Even when we are not consciously aware of it, unforgiveness and its consequences cause problems in the mind and the body.

It became clear to me that I was not healed when I started having irrational fears about my x-husband abusing my daughters. My oldest daughter was almost 3 years old at the time, just a little younger than I was when I was first assaulted. I was afraid to leave the girls alone with him and I would even wake up in the middle of the night to go check on them.

It took me a while to confess my fears to my ex-husband and when I did the hurt and alarm on his face was devastating to me. Even then I thought the issue was psychological, so I tried to do the work of controlling my thoughts and managing my emotions, again. It was almost a decade later when I learned that my stepfather had also abused my other siblings.

The rage that swelled in me made me unrecognizable. The thoughts I was having were totally out of character for me. I wanted revenge. This was the result of unforgiveness hidden behind a curtain of self-control and discipline.

Many people feel stuck in cycles of emotional pain, spiritual dryness, and even physical tension without realizing that unforgiveness may be the root. When we hold onto unforgiveness, we block the flow of God’s grace, peace, and healing in our lives. We cannot heal from a wound if we harbor unforgiveness.

Unforgiveness gives the enemy a foothold, and bitterness is fertile ground for spiritual attacks. Pain becomes fuel for darkness to grow in our hearts and minds; this will undoubtedly effect every one of our relationships.

It was still another few years before I learned that I needed to forgive, and a little longer to learn how. First, I had to acknowledge that I was still carrying this thing around. Then I had to take it to God. I submitted my damaged heart, my anger, and all the thoughts associated with my trauma, as well as my desire for revenge to God in prayer.

I even told him how much I resented that I had to be the one to forgive. God met me right there with His truth and love. Healing did not happen in one day, but each time I cried, screamed, and surrendered the pain to God, it felt like I had taken my soul to the laundromat.

Forgiveness is a way of being, not just something you do. It’s not a one and done thing. This was a process of bringing God all my pain, each time it resurfaced. The scripture revealed to me God's truth, and the Holy Spirit helped me accomplish forgiveness.

“Forgiveness is a weapon of spiritual warfare. It silences the voice of the enemy and opens your heart to God’s transforming power.”

What Forgiveness Looks Like in Practice

1. Forgiveness Is a Choice

It’s not always easy. In fact, it can be the hardest decision you’ll ever make. But it’s just that, a decision. A conscious act of the will to release someone from the debt they owe you.

You may need to choose it over and over again, daily, moment by moment. That’s okay.

“Lord, I choose to forgive today. Help me where I struggle.”

The Holy Spirit will meet you in that place and give you the strength to follow through.

2. Forgiveness Is Letting Go of the Right to Get Even

True forgiveness means giving up the desire for vengeance. It’s choosing not to replay the offense in your mind or seek your own justice.

Romans 12:19“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”

When you forgive, you're saying, "I trust God to handle this according to His righteousness."

3. Forgiveness Is Laying Down Resentment

Resentment and grudges may seem manageable at first, but over time they spread like poison, affecting your peace, your relationships, and even your physical health. They don't stay confined to the person who hurt you. They begin to color your entire world.

Forgiveness is how you take back control of your heart and create space for joy again.

4. Forgiveness Is a Step Toward Healing

This is not just about your relationship with others. Forgiveness brings healing to your own heart. It tears down walls between you and others, and between you and God.

It creates room for peace, clarity, and divine restoration.

Colossians 3:13“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

What Forgiveness Is Not

Many people hesitate to forgive because they misunderstand what forgiveness is. Let’s clear up some common myths.

❌ Forgiveness Is NOT Excusing Wrongdoing Wrong is still wrong. Forgiveness doesn’t make evil acceptable. It means you’re choosing to release the offender into God’s hands and share the grace you’ve received, even if they don’t deserve it.

❌ Forgiveness Is NOT Emotional Healing Overnight Forgiveness is a process, not a moment. The pain may linger. The memories may return. And when they do, you may have to forgive again. But each time, the grip of pain weakens.

Eventually, the hurt loses its power over you.

❌ Forgiveness Is NOT Reconciliation or Trust You can forgive someone without rebuilding a relationship. Forgiveness doesn't require you to stay in toxic or abusive situations. You can forgive and walk away in peace.

❌ Forgiveness Is NOT Removing Responsibility God is JUST. All sin must be paid for but not all have accepted Christ atoning sacrifice. We are not responsible for punishing, but it is right to seek justice through legal legitimate means.

How to Begin Forgiving Today

• Pray for strength. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you where you're struggling.

• Name the hurt. Be honest about what happened and how it affected you.

• Make the choice. Say it out loud if you need to: “I forgive [name] for [offense].”

• Repeat as needed. When the thoughts return, reaffirm your forgiveness.

• Release it. Surrender the situation to God and invite His healing.

A Final Word: Forgiveness Sets You Free

Forgiveness is not just a command; it’s a gift. It’s the path to peace, freedom, and deep intimacy with God.

When you forgive, you become more like Christ. You break spiritual chains. You allow the Holy Spirit to bring healing, restoration, and new life.