Beware of a Hardened Heart!

This is a reality all too common for many of us today. Fear, disappointment, shame, and regret have quietly built walls around our hearts. This does not happen overnight, but slowly, over time. And those walls, once meant to protect, begin to harden; not always out of rebellion, but often out of survival.

I’ve seen it again and again in myself, in the women I love, and those I serve with. Maybe you’ve seen it in yourself. A quiet resolve not to feel so deeply. A guardedness you didn’t used to have. The belief that if you keep your heart just a little more protected, maybe this time it won’t hurt so much when things fall apart. But the truth is that hard heart separates us from God and therefore the source of true love.

What is a Hardened Heart?

The phrase “hardened heart” shows up often in the scriptures and is frequently heard in sermons, but what does it actually mean? More importantly, why should we care?

A hardened heart is more than just emotional coldness, it's a spiritual condition that can prevent us from growing in our faith, connecting with others, and hearing God’s voice. Recognizing this condition is crucial because it affects every area of our lives, from our relationships to our ability to make God-honoring decisions.

In the scriptures, the heart is not just a physical organ, it is seen as the center of our emotions, thoughts, it is our moral compass. It is the core of who we are, the heart influences our motivations and actions.

Proverbs 4:23

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it,"

This verse emphasizes the need to protect our hearts from influences that may lead to spiritual numbness or insensitivity. But it is not a call to build a wall. It is one thing to trust God with your heart and protect it from the things that distance you from him; it is another to build a stronghold that hinders our relationship with God and others.

When our hearts are hardened, it creates a disconnect that makes it difficult to empathize, forgive, or love fully. We become closed off to God’s guidance, and resistant to emotional healing. This will ultimately have a negative affect on our choices and actions.

Symptoms of a Hard Heart

• Spiritual Blindness- You are unable to perceive God's presence in your life or hear His voice. You may be oblivious to or complicit with the negative spiritual influences affecting you.

• Loss of Hope- You no longer believe God will answer your prayers. Miracles and breakthroughs seem possible for others, but not for you. 

• Repetitive Mistakes- You keep facing the same issues over and over again because you’re no longer learning from your experiences.

• Pride- You trust your own wisdom over God’s. You lean on your knowledge, achievements, or identity rather than surrendering to God’s truth.

What Causes a Hardened Heart? 

A hardened heart can develop for many reasons, including prolonged exposure to sin, or a refusal to accept God’s truths but, the scripture is clear about the role Satan plays in this.

2 Corinthians 4:3-5

“4 For the god of this world has blinded the unbelievers’ minds [that they should not discern the truth], preventing them from seeing the illuminating light of the Gospel of the glory of Christ (the Messiah), Who is the Image and Likeness of God.” (AMPC)

The farther we are from God, the easier it is for sin and the devil to deceive us. Aaron Beck, a renown Cognitive Behavioral Psychologist, once said “If our thinking is bogged down by distorted symbolic meanings, illogical reasoning and erroneous interpretations, we become, in truth, blind and deaf.” See my post on "The lies we believe". What is worse is that the hardening of one’s heart can be gradual and often goes unnoticed until it becomes a significant barrier to spiritual and emotional well-being. Here are a few things that can cause a hard heart.

• Worldliness- An attachment to worldly success, pleasure, or material things can crowd out spiritual focus (1 John 2:15–17).

• Trauma- Unresolved wounds from sins committed against us, if not surrendered to God can give the enemy a way to deceive and manipulate.

• Disappointment- Bitterness or anger toward God or others when expectations are unmet. This decreases ones ability to hope and have faith (Hebrews 12:15).

• The Natural Mind- Emotions not aligned with the truth of God's word. Fear turns into anxiety, Anger transforms into hate, Sadness leads to depression. 

What Heals a Hardened Heart?

God is the one who transforms hearts, what we can do is actively seek God in our daily lives. If you have not accepted Jesus into your life start with this prayer. Seeking God involves a multifaceted approach that includes praying daily, reading the Bible, and engaging with a community of faith. I know this is often easier said than done. We all have busy lives. It doesn't matter where you start or how small, just start. God will meet you wherever you are.

God doesn’t ask us to keep our hearts tough. He invites us to give Him our wounds, our fears, our shattered hopes. He promises to take our hearts of stone and give us hearts of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26), soft again, alive again, able to feel, to hope, to love again.

Sister, your tenderness is not your weakness. It’s where God meets with you most intimately. Don’t be afraid to bring your whole, honest, aching heart to Him. He is not disappointed in your pain, He’s drawn to it (Psalms 34:18). And His love, unlike anything else in this world, can make even the hardest heart new again.

Feeling Stuck? Take the First Step Today

No matter where you are in your faith journey, it’s never too late to turn to God. Start small, pray honestly about the condition of your heart, open your Bible, talk with someone you trust. Healing begins with a willing heart.